Complicated Telephones

Why does it have to be so complicated to make a phone call? There is a parcel out there with my name on it that I want to pick up from the UPS facility to ensure that it does not get here too late. The reason is because inside of this box is a beautiful and most perfect dress that I last minute ordered with expedited shipping. It needs to be here by Thursday at approximately 4pm. It is scheduled to arrive on Thursday, but I need to ensure that I can get it.

Calling the nearest location would be ideal, but I can't figure out which facility it would be going to, because there are so many around here. The other problem is the 1800 number doesn' t have a menu option to get to an actual person. They have three options and I none of them are what I need.

What happened to the good old days of calling a number and a person answers, without the automated "Fitter Happier" voice telling me what to say and what to press?